Thursday, December 29, 2011

Thursday, December 29th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Please, won't somebody tell me what diddie-wa-diddie means?


My research to date indicates that diddie-wa-diddie

"ain't no town - ain't no city". tftd

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

Golden Oldie

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was
invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

-Calvin Trillin, writer (1935- )
A Word a Day
AWADmail Issue 182
October 15, 2005

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

Happiness, n.:
An agreeable sensation arising from
contemplating the misery of another.

-Ambrose Bierce,
"The Devil's Dictionary"

Friday, December 23, 2011

Friday, December 23rd, 2011

Golden Oldie

In explaining any puzzling Washington phenomenon,
always choose stupidity over conspiracy,
incompetence over cunning.
Anything else gives them too much credit.

-Charles Krauthammer

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Thursday, December 22nd, 2011

Golden Oldie I think

... no one ever considers himself expert
if he really knows his job. A man who
knows a job sees so much more to be done
than he has done, that he is always pressing
forward and never gives up an instant of
thought to how good and how efficient he is.
Thinking always ahead, thinking always of
trying to do more, brings a state of mind
in which nothing is impossible. The moment
one gets into the "expert" state of mind a
great number of things become impossible.

-Henry Ford Sr.
From the Bill Wagner Collection

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

You work your whole life for a safe and secure
spot at the end of the rainbow and when you
get there, you find someone has looted the pot
of gold.

-Crankshaft Comic Strip
by Batiuk and Ayers
Submitted by Herr Kemper

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

If you want to go fast, go alone ...
but if you want to go far, go together.

-African Proverb)
Submitted by Norm West

Monday, December 19, 2011

Monday, December 19th, 2011

Money may be the husk of many things,
but not the kernel.
It brings you food but not appetite;
medicine, but not health;
acquaintances, but not friends;
servant, but not loyalty;
days of joy, but not peace or happiness.

-Henrik Ibsen
Bits & Pieces Sept 2010

Friday, December 16, 2011

Friday, December 16th, 2011


If all the world's economists were laid end to end,
we wouldn't reach a conclusion.

-William Baumol

(Or like President Truman said, "Give me a one-handed economist!
All my economists say, On the one hand on the other.)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

Golden Oldie

I used to hear voices a lot
but read up on them and
found they don't exist.
Now I don't listen to a word they say.

-Wall decoration in shop
on WEST 6th Street Austin, TX

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

Golden Oldie

On Patience

Patience serves as a protection against wrongs
as clothes do against cold. For if you put on
more clothes as the cold increases, it will
have no power to hurt you. So in like manner
you must grow in patience when you meet with
great wrongs, and they will then be powerless
to vex your mind.

-Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519)
Artist, architect and engineer
Cited in BITS & PIECES
BITS & PIECES: Home Delivery 2001/08/16


Or as Herr Kemper is wont to say, 'Patience is a virtue.'

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Twin Spin-

The nagging of lesser quality lingers long
after the thrill of a low price has passed.

-Unknown, Reported by Herr Kemper


There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot
make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and
the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey.

-John Ruskin

Monday, December 12, 2011

Monday, December 12th, 2011

Associate with well-mannered persons
and your manners will improve. Run
with decent folk and your own decent
instincts will be strengthened. Keep
the company of bums and you will become
a bum. Hang around with rich people
and you will end by picking up the
check and dying broke.

-Stanley Walker

Friday, December 9, 2011

Friday, December 9th, 2011

Golden Oldie

In democracy it's your vote that counts;
In feudalism it's your count that votes.

-Mogens Jallberg
Michael Moncur's
(Cynical) Quotations

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Thursday, December 8th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Treat people as if they were what they
ought to be and you will help them become
what they are capable of becoming.

-Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
From the Masters:
15 Aug 2008

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

Golden Oldie

'A picture is worth a thousand words.'
So draw a picture of the Gettyburg Address.

-Leo Rosten

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Honest criticism is hard to take -
especially when it comes from a
relative, a friend, an acquaintance,
or a stranger.

-Franklin P. Jones

Motivational Quotes of the Day

Monday, December 5, 2011

Monday, December 5th, 2011

Stop worrying about the potholes in the road
and celebrate the journey.

-Fitzhugh Mullan
Submitted by Herr Kemper
(I need to double his pay.)

Friday, December 2, 2011

Friday, December 2nd, 2011

Advice is what we ask for when we already
know the answer but wish we didn't.

-Submitted by Herr Kemper

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Don't worry about avoiding temptation --
as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

-The Old Farmer's Almanac

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011


To get something done,
a committee should consist
of no more than three persons,
two of them absent.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011

Monday, November 28th, 2011

It takes a great deal of courage
to stand up to your enemies, but
even more to stand up to your friends.

-J. K. Rowling
British fantasy author
Quotation #35724 from
Laura Moncur's
Motivational Quotations:

Friday, November 25, 2011

Friday, November 25th, 2011

A good thing to remember,
a better thing to do --
Work with the constructions gang,
not with the wrecking crew.

-Author Unknown
Bits and Pieces March 2011
Note: Does not apply to Aggie football.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to
acknowledge the providence of Almighty God,
to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits,
and humbly to implore His protection and favor;
and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by
their joint committee, requested me to "recommend
to the people of the United States a day of
public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by
acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and
signal favors of Almighty God, especially by
affording them an opportunity peaceably to
establish a form of government for their safety
and happiness:"

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

To carry a grudge
is like being stung to death by one bee.

-William H. Walton
Bits and Pieces March 2011

Monday, November 21, 2011

Monday, November 21st, 2011

Life isn't about how you survived the's
about how you danced in the rain!

Submitted by Herr Kemper
Fine, Herr Kemper but
we haven't had any rain.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday, November 18th, 2011

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not
exist in nature, nor do the children of men as
a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is not
safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

-Helen Keller
Submitted by Herr Kemper

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011


Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work he is
supposed to be doing at the moment.

-Robert Benchley

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Golden Oldie

May those that love us, love us;
and those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts;

and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may He turn their
ankles so we'll know them by their limping.

-Old Irish Toast

Monday, November 14, 2011

Monday, November 14th, 2011

Golden Oldie

An Irishman proposed to his girl
on St. Patrick's Day and gave her
a ring with a synthetic diamond.
On learning it wasn't real, she
protested vehemently about his
cheapness. "It was in honor of St.
Patrick's Day" he smiled.
"I gave you a sham rock."

-Puns of the Day

Friday, November 11, 2011

Friday, November 11th, 2011

Many people have initiative,
but many seem to lack finishitive.

-Roy E. Gibson,
Nephi Times-News, Nephi,
Utah, Oct. 14, 1976
Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

There is nothing so inconvenient
as a convenience that doesn't work.

-Duggs First Theorem
Submitted by Mike Rogovein

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Wedesday, November 9th, 2011

You can educate a fool
but you can't make him think.

-Heard at the
Texas Cowboy Poetry Gathering
Submitted by Herr Kemper

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Monday, November 7, 2011

Monday, November 7th, 2011

After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a dang (I changed the last word to a nicer word)

Friday, November 4, 2011

Friday, November 4th, 2011

Snacktrek, n.:
The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly
returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will
have materialized.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

All the adversity I've had in my life,
all my troubles and obstacles,
have strengthened me.
You may not realize it when it happens,
but a kick in the teeth may be the best
thing in the world for you.

-Walt Disney
Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

tftd Twin-Spin

I sneezed a sneeze into the air
It fell to earth I know not where
But hard and cold were the looks of those
In whose vicinity I snoze

-First seen by tftd in Boys Life circa 1952

Monday, October 31, 2011

Monday, October 31st, 2011

Golden Oldie

Life moves pretty fast.
Ya don't stop and look
around once in a while,
ya gonna miss it!

-Ferris Bueller (on his day off)

(Penny Pennington's TodaysThought 2001/06/06)
(And on the 82nd annual academy awards (2010))

Friday, October 28, 2011

Friday, October 28th, 2011


If you see a fellow ahead of the crowd,

A leader of men, marching fearless and proud,
And you know a tale whose mere telling aloud
Would cause his proud head to in anguish be bowed,
It's a pretty good plan to forget it.

If you know of a skeleton hidden away

In a closet, and guarded and kept from the day
In the dark, and whose showing, whose sudden display,
Would cause grief and sorrow and life-long dismay,
It's a pretty good plan to forget it.

If you know of a spot in the life of a friend,

(We all have such spots concealed, world without end)
Whose touching his heartstrings would sadden or rend,
Till the shame of its showing no grieving could mend,
It's a pretty good plan to forget it!

If you know of a thing that will darken the joy

Of a man or a woman, a girl or a boy,
That will wipe out a smile or the least way annoy
A fellow, or cause any gladness to cloy,
It's a pretty good plan to forget it.

-Source Unknown
Submitted by Jay

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed.
Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms
really *do* melt in your hand ...

-Peter Oakley

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

The first time you quit, it's hard.
The second time, it gets easier.
The third time,
you don't even have to think about it.

-Paul "Bear" Bryant

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

Sunshine is delicious,
rain is refreshing,
wind braces us up,
snow is exhilarating;
there is really no such thing as bad weather,
only different kinds of good weather.

-John Ruskin

Monday, October 24, 2011

Friday, October 21, 2011

Friday, October 21st, 2011

Ignisecond, n.:
The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car
door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some just don't have film.

-Eternal Truths
Reported by The Good, Clean
Funnies List (

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

Tact is the ability to tell a man
he has an open mind when
he has a hole in his head.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

Golden Oldie

As the man said who was about to be tarred and feathered,
and run out of town on a rail, "If it wasn't for the honor
of the thing I would just as soon walk."

-H.D. "Cotton" Galvin,
when presented with
a dubious honor or

Monday, October 17, 2011

Monday, October 17th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes,
et liberaler educatus et nimim propinquus ades!

[translation: If you can read this bumper sticker,
you are both very well educated and much too close!]

-From Instant Attitudes
Submitted by Thomas David Nichols

Friday, October 14, 2011

Friday, October 14th, 2011

Experience is what causes a
person to make new mistakes
instead of old ones.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

Golden Oldie

We should be thankful for the good things we have
and, also, for the bad things we don't have.

Twin Spin

He is a man of sense
who does not grieve for what he has not,
but rejoices in what he has.

The (Other) TFTD

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to
acknowledge the providence of Almighty God,
to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits,
and humbly to implore His protection and favor;
and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by
their joint committee, requested me to "recommend
to the people of the United States a day of
public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by
acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and
signal favors of Almighty God, especially by
affording them an opportunity peaceably to
establish a form of government for their safety
and happiness:"


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Tuesday, October 11th, 2011

It is literally true, as the thankless say,
that they have nothing to be thankful for.
He who sits by the fire, thankless for
the fire, is just as if he had no fire.
Nothing is possessed save in appreciation,
of which thankfulness is the indispensable

But a thankful heart hath a continual feast.

-W.J. Cameron
Submitted by Daryl R. Gibson

Friday, October 7, 2011

Friday, October 7th, 2011

Golden Oldie

It is the soldier, not the reporter,
Who has given us freedom of the press.
It is the soldier, not the poet,
Who has given us freedom of speech.
It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.
It is the soldier,
Who salutes the flag,
Who serves beneath the flag,
And whose coffin is draped by the flag,
Who allows the protestor to burn the flag.

Father Dennis Edward O'Brian, USMC


Veterans Day change just didn't stick

Today's question:

Why didn't Veterans Day become a Monday holiday along with Presidents Day,

Memorial Day, Columbus Day and some others?

There are some things you just don't mess with. ...

And Veterans Day (is one of them).

Veterans Day originally was known as Armistice Day and marked the end of

World War I at 11 a.m. on Nov. 11, 1918 - 11th hour, 11th day, 11th month.

Congress designated that date as Armistice Day in 1926, and it became a

national holiday in 1938. In 1954, President Eisenhower signed a bill
designating Nov. 11 as Veterans Day.

Then in 1968 came the Uniform Holiday Bill, which shuffled some holidays

to Monday to give a lot of people three-day weekends. This moved Veterans
Day to the last Monday in October.

Do you remember that? Probably not, because most states just ignored it

because they liked having Veterans Day on Nov. 11. The first
last-Monday-in-October Veterans Day was celebrated Oct. 25, 1971, and
pretty much just confused and annoyed everyone.

In 1975, President Ford signed a law that took Veterans Day back to

Nov. 11, and it's been that way since 1978. Why did it take three
years? Don't ask me, I don't know.

When Nov. 11 falls on a Sunday, the holiday is observed on Monday. If it's

on Saturday, the holiday is observed on Friday.

As near as I can tell, the reason Veterans Day didn't catch on as a Monday

holiday just seems to be the historic significance of the date - the whole
11-11-11 thing. People just want it to be on Nov. 11 and, by golly, it's
going to be on Nov. 11.

So what's the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day?

Did your grandma use to call Memorial Day Decoration Day? Mine did.

The idea is that on Memorial Day, we remember and honor all those men and

women who lost their lives fighting for their country.

And the idea is that on Veterans Day, we honor all those who served in war

or peace, the living and dead.

-Clay Thompson
Arizona Republic
Nov. 7, 2005

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-
bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the
road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
-- "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

Golden Oldie

If wisdom's way you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.

-William Norris

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Yes, risk taking is inherently failure-prone.
Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking.

-Tim McMahon
~The (Other) Thought For The Day~

Monday, October 3, 2011

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Golden Oldie

Sainthood emerges when you can listen to someone's tale of woe
and not respond with a description of your own.

-Andrew V. Mason, M.D.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Thursday, September 29th, 2011

Golden Oldie

We all admire the wisdom of people
who come to us for advice.

-Jack Herbert
URL does not seem to be good now. tftd

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday, September 28th, 2011

Golden Oldie

I know that you believe that you understood
what you think I said, but I am not sure you
realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

-Robert McCloskey,
State Department spokesman
Quotation #26806 from Michael Moncur's (Cynical) Quotations:

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011

Furbling, v.:
Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank
even when you are the only person in line.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets

Monday, September 26, 2011

Monday, September 26th, 2011

Golden Oldie

One thought driven home is better
than three left on base.

-James Liter
Bits & Pieces May 2005

Friday, September 23, 2011

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

Newlan's Truism:
An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government
economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Golden Oldie

He who is carried on another's back
does not appreciate how far off the town is.

-African Proverb
DailyInbox: PAX Proverbs Plus

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

Golden Oldie

New Definitions


A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.

-Contributed by Willie Weiss
Former tftd Neighbor

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Tuesday, September 20th, 2011

Golden Oldie

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good, and
sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.

-Arnold H. Glasow
DailyInbox: Bits and Pieces -
ON FRIENDS - 01-08-02

Monday, September 19, 2011

Monday, September 19th, 2011

Golden Oldie

The plan may be useless,
but the planning process
is invaluable.

-Dwight D. Eisenhower
As quoted in "Disaster
Recovery Journal"
Spring 2003

Friday, September 16, 2011

Friday, September 16th, 2011

Some cause happiness wherever they go.
Others whenever they go.

-Paraprosdokian sentences & statements
From Kirk Miller on Puns

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

I didn't say it was your fault,
I said I was blaming you.

-Paraprosdokian sentences & statements
From Kirk Miller on Puns

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

- Paraprosdokian sentences & statements
From Kirk Miller on Puns

Monday, September 12, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

Taxes, n.:
Of life's two certainties,
the only one for which
you can ge an extension.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Wednesday, September 7th, 2011

We never really grow up,
we only learn how to act in public.

-Paraprosdokian sentences & statements
From Kirk Miller on Puns

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Thursday, September 6th, 2011

People in distress will sometimes
prefer a problem that is familiar
to a solution that is not.

-Neil Postman
Bits and Pieces
October 2010

Friday, September 2, 2011

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

More hearts pine away in secret anguish for unkindness
from those who should be their comforters,
than for any other calamity in life.

-Edward Young
Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

Ingrate, n.:
A man who bites the hand that feeds him,
and then complains of indigestion.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Dear Lord:

I just want *one* one-armed manager,
so I never have to hear "On the other hand", again.

(Same reason President Johnson wanted a
one-armed economist.)

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

-Paraprosdokian sentences & statements
From Kirk Miller on Puns

Monday, August 29, 2011

Monday, August 29th, 2011

I never cease to be amazed
at what people choose NOT to know.

-Stephen G. Largy
Bits and Pieces
Sept 2010

Friday, August 26, 2011

Friday, August 26th, 2011

We should be
as quick to compliment
As we are to criticize.

-Mitchell Pl Ejnik
Bits and Pieces
Sept 2010

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Thursday, August 25th, 2011

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

- Paraprosdokian sentences & statements
From Kirk Miller on Puns

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

It is extraordinary
how extraordinary
the ordinary person is.

-George F. Will
Bits and Pieces
Sept 2010

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

We don't make mistakes here.
We just learn great lessons.

-Steve McGarrett (Hawaii Five-O)
Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Monday, August 22, 2011

Monday, August 22nd, 2011

All is perspective;
to a worm digging in hard ground
is more relaxing than going fishing.

-Submitted by Shelia Popwell

Friday, August 19, 2011

Friday, August 19th, 2011

When you have more balls than you can juggle,
the trick is in remembering
which are rubber and which are glass.

- Overheard in 1996
By Shelia Popwell

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Thursday, August 18th, 2011

Aphorism, n.:
A concise, clever statement.
Afterism, n.:
A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.
-- James Alexander Thom


In other words:

Backward O backward
O Time in thy flight.
I thought of a comeback
I needed last night.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Wednesday, August 17th, 2011

Popwell's Law of Chaos

Those who are unrelentingly organized

will never know the thrill of finding
something believed to have been irretrievably lost.

-Shelia Popwell

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Tuesday, August 16th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.

-Sidney J. Harris
American Journalist
~ The (Other) Thought For The Day ~

Monday, August 15, 2011

Monday, August, 15th, 2011

Golden Oldie

One way to get high blood pressure is
to go mountain climbing over molehills.

-Earl Wilson (1907-1987)
Bits and Pieces
August 2005

Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday, August, 12th, 2011

Golden Oldie

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.

-Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
U.S. President
Daily Inbox 20050922

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Thursday, August, 11th, 2011

Golden Oldie

The government's view of the economy could be
summed up in a few short phrases:
If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving,
regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

-Ronald Reagan
40th president of US (1911 - 2004)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Wednesday, August, 10th, 2011

Golden Oldie

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a

reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating
the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for

-Charles A. Beard

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Tuesday, August, 9th, 2011

Only Robinson Crusoe could
have everything done by Friday.

-Old Xerox Wisdom?

Monday, August 8, 2011

Monday, August 8th, 2011

Golden Oldie

If you have only one smile in you,
give it to the people you love.
Don't be surly at home, then go
out in the street and start grinning
''Good morning'' at total strangers.

-Maya Angelou
~ The (Other) Thought For The Day ~

Friday, August 5, 2011

Friday, August 5th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Just because something is impossible
doesn't mean the legislature can't
make it a law.

-Unnamed Person in
an Unnamed State

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

Can you make sense out of this riddle using punctuation marks?

What is a four letter word for a three letter word which has five letters

yet is still spelled with three letters while it has only two

Scroll down for answer.

Scroll down for answer.

Scroll down for answer.


"What" is a four-letter word,
"for" a three-letter word;
"which" has five letters;
"yet" is still spelled with three letters,
while "it" has only two.
(By Gary Hallock)
Puns Jest for Kids 08-2010

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

One shoe can change your life.

Submitted by Terry Tubb
(It is amazing what thoughts
come to one who is recuperating
from neck surgery- tftd)

Monday, August 1, 2011

Monday, August 1st, 2011

Living on Earth may be expensive,
but it includes an annual free trip
around the Sun.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday, July 29th, 2011

Some people have a way about them
that seems to say:
"If I have only one life to live,
let me live it as a jerk."

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

Get your facts first,and
then you can distort them
as much as you please.

-Mark Twain
Bits and Pieces July 2010

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

Even a slow walker will arrive.

-African Proverb
Bits and Pieces July 2010

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

Much may be done in those little shreds and patches of time,
which every day produces, and which most men throw away.

-Charles Caleb Colton
quoted by Richard L. Evans and
Submitted by Daryl R. Gibson

Monday, July 25, 2011

Monday, July 25th, 2011

Golden Oldie

It seems everything in the world
gets more valuable as it ages
except the human body.

-Ken Roesler

Friday, July 22, 2011

Friday, July 22nd, 2011

Golden Oldie

People will accept your ideas much more readily
if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

-David H. Comins
DailyInbox: Bits and Pieces -
ON IDEAS - 07-15-02

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

Golden Oldie

The primary requisite for any new tax law
is for it to exempt enough voters
to win the next election.

-From the UNIX Fortune Cookie File

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Always try to stop talking
before people stop listening.

-The Lion
June 2002

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

Golden Oldie

The typical newspaper staff has been reduced to one editor,
one managing editor, 14 assistant managing editors, 39
deputy assistant managing editors, and one reporter. The
editors spend their days holding meetings to think of new
ways to cut costs, while the reporter (who, for budgetary
reasons, is not allowed to leave the building) looks out the
window, in case news occurs in the parking lot."

-Dave Barry
The Mouthpiece -
Wednesday, 30th May, 2001

Monday, July 18, 2011

Monday, July 18th, 2011

Golden Oldie

The greatest pleasure I know is
to do a good action by stealth, and
to have it found out by accident.

-Charles Lamb -
Daily Reflections -

Friday, July 15, 2011

Friday, July 15th, 2011

Golden Oldie

A leader without a sense of humour
is apt to be like the grass mower
at the cemetery - he has lots of
people under him, but nobody is
paying him any attention."

-Bob Ross

Penny Pennington's

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thursday, July 14th, 2011

Golden Oldie

The young specialist in English Lit, ...lectured
me severely on the fact that in every century people
have thought they understood the Universe at last,
and in every century they were proved to be wrong.
It follows that the one thing we can say about
our modern "knowledge" is that it is wrong.

... My answer to him was, "... when people thought
the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people
thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong.
But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical
is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then
your view is wronger than both of them put together."

-Isaac Asimov (1920-1992),The Relativity of Wrong,
Kensington Books, New York, 1996, p 226.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Wednesday, July 13th, 2011

You cannot do a kindness too soon,
because you never know how soon
it will be too late.


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so

Monday, July 11, 2011

Monday, July 11th, 2011

Don't knock the weather;
nine-tenths of the people
couldn't start a conversation
if it didn't change once in a while.

-Kin Hubbard

Friday, July 8, 2011

Friday, July 8th, 2011

Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words
since I first called my brother's father dad.
-- William Shakespeare, "King John"

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Thursday, July 7th, 2011

Golden Oldie

It isn't the mountain ahead
that wears you out -
it's the grain of sand
in your shoe.

-Robert Service
PAX Proverbs Plus

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

Golden Oldie

The geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury. Due north of the
center we find the South End. This is not to be confused with South
Boston which lies directly east from the South End. North of the South
End is East Boston and southwest of East Boston is the North End.

-Sig File

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

Life is a ten speed bike:
Most of us have gears we never use.

-Charles Schultz

Friday, July 1, 2011

Friday, July 1st, 2011

Valentine Recap

Review of high-tech Valentine Gifts. Credit (or blame)
Jim Berry for the basis of this thought. IPhones, IPads,
and even IPods appeared to go over well with the ladies.
However the IRon was not as well accepted. Even with
left and right click modules on the handle and calling the
IRoning board a mouse pad did not mitigate the problem
with this gift.

-Basic thought from the Internet
Contributed by Jim Berry

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Thursday, June 30th, 2011

It is much easier to suggest solutions
when you know nothing about the problem.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wednesday, June 29th, 2011

Nothing is really work
unless you would rather
be doing something else.

-Sir James M. Barrie
Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

-From the Internet
Submitted by Herr Kemper

Monday, June 27, 2011

Monday, June 27th, 2011

"He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both
eyes ..."

Friday, June 24, 2011

Friday, June 24th, 2011

"All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that keeps us

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011

Golden Oldie

If this (Superbowl) is the ultimate game,
why are they playing it again next year?

-Duane Thomas
1972 Superbowl VI

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

Time is a versatile performer.
It flies, marches on, heals all
wounds, runs out, and will tell.

-Franklin P. Jones
Bits & Pieces
February, 2011

Monday, June 20, 2011

Monday, June 20th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Remember 'manure' was originally a French word.

-Heard on the Radio

Friday, June 17, 2011

Friday, June 17th, 2011

Bradley's Bromide:
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a
committee -- that will do them in.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Thursday, June 16th, 2011

Barth's Distinction:
There are two types of people: those who divide people into two
types, and those who don't.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011

The winds and waves are always on
the side of the ablest navigators.

-Edward Gibbon
Bits & Pieces
February 2011

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the year.

-Spanish Proverb
PAX Proverbs Plus - 03-10-04

Monday, June 13, 2011

Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday, June 10th, 2011

Because I forgot to post on Thursday, I'm posting the one for that day here as well.

Golden Oldie

If you don't have time to do it right
when will you have time to do it over?

-Old Photocopy Wisdom

Lewis's Law of Travel:
The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to
anyone, ever.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

Golden Oldie

We can't make the documentation idiot-proof,
but we CAN make it idiot-resistant!

-John W. Hockert, PhD
As reported by Penny Pennington

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

Golden Oldie

Everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak and slow to become angry.


Monday, June 6, 2011

Monday, June 6th, 2011

If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the
shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton

In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side

with the giants on whose shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing

on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson

In computer science, we stand on each other's feet.

-- Brian K. Reid

Friday, June 3, 2011

Friday, June 3rd, 2011

Golden Oldie

How often could things be remedied by a word.
How often is it left unspoken.

- Norman Douglas (1868-1952)
Novelist and essayist
Bits and Pieces Febreuary 200

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011

Golden Oldie

Knowing how time can be on an awards show,
I prepared two speeches. A short one and a long one.
I guess I'll give the short one, "Thank you."
Ah, it appears I have time for the long one,
"Thank you very much."

-Harrison Ford on accepting the Cecil B. DeMille award
at the Golden Globes on 01/20/02 as reported in
Penny Pennington's Today's Thought 2002/01/23

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2011

Golden Oldie

Life moves pretty fast.
Ya don't stop and look
around once in a while,
ya gonna miss it!

-Ferris Bueller (on his day off)

(Penny Pennington's TodaysThought 2001/06/06)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

Golden Oldie

Do not keep the alabaster box of your friendship
sealed up until your friends are dead. Fill their
lives with sweetness. Speak approving, cheering
words while their ears can hear them, and while
their hearts can be thrilled and made happier.
The kind of things you mean to say
when they are gone, say before they go.

-George W. Childs
(From Penny Pennington's
Today's Thought 2001/06/25)

Friday, May 27, 2011

Friday, May 27th, 2011

Golden Oldie

In 1865, Henry C. Welles, a druggist in the village of Waterloo, NY,
mentioned at a social gathering that honor should be shown to the
patriotic dead of the Civil War by decorating their graves.
In the Spring of 1866, he again mentioned this subject to General John
B. Murray, Seneca County Clerk. General Murray embraced the idea and a
committee was formulated to plan a day devoted to honoring the dead.
Townspeople adopted the idea wholeheartedly. Wreaths, crosses and bouquets
were made for each veteran's grave. The village was decorated with flags
at half mast and draped with evergreen boughs and mourning black

On May 5, 1866, civic societies joined the procession to the three
existing cemeteries and were led by veterans marching to martial music. At
each cemetery there were impressive and lengthy services including
speeches by General Murray and a local clergyman. The ceremonies were
repeated on May 5, 1867.

The first official recognition of Memorial Day as such was issued by
General John A. Logan, first commander of the Grand Army of the
Republic. This was General Order No. 11 establishing "Decoration Day" as
it was then known. The date of the order was May 5, 1868, exactly two
years after Waterloo's first observance. That year Waterloo joined other
communities in the nation by having their ceremony on May 30.