Thursday, December 20, 2012

Thursday, December 20th, 2012

While attending a marriage seminar on communication,
  Jim and his wife listened to the instructor declare:
  "It is essential that husbands and wives know the
  things that are important to each other."

  He addressed the men:
  "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's
  favorite flower?"

  Jim  leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
  whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

  The rest of the story is not pleasant.
  The end.

                      -Reported by Kandy Rose

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Wednesday, December 19th, 2012

  Real difficulties can be overcome,
         it is only imaginary ones that are

                         -Theodore N. Vail
                          Bits and Pieces
                          April 2010

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

We have no right to ask when sorrow comes,
          "Why did this happen to me?"
    unless we ask the same question for every
    moment of happiness that comes our way.

                    -Author Unknown
                     Chicken Soup for the Soul
                     9 March 2010

Friday, December 14, 2012

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Thursday, December 13th, 2012

Have more than thou showest;
    Speak less than thou knowest.

            -William Shakespeare,
             'King Lear,' Act I, Scene iv
              Greatest English dramatist
              & poet (1564 - 1616)

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

    I don't believe in astrology.
    But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians
    don't believe in astrology."

                -James R. F. Quirk

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Tuesday, December 11th, 2012

Golden Oldie
        The young specialist in English Lit, ...lectured
         me severely on the fact that in every century people
         have thought they understood the Universe at last,
         and in every century they were proved to be wrong.
         It follows that the one thing we can say about
         our modern "knowledge" is that it is wrong.

         ... My answer to him was, "... when people thought
         the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people
         thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong.
         But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical
         is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then
         your view is wronger than both of them put together."

                -Isaac Asimov (1920-1992),The Relativity of Wrong,
                 Kensington Books, New York, 1996, p 226.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Friday, December 7th, 2012

Golden Oldie

      One of the annoying things about believing
      in free will and individual responsibility
      is the difficulty of finding somebody to
      blame your problems on. And when you do find
      somebody, it's remarkable how often his
      picture turns up on your driver's license.

                     -P. J. O'Rourke
                      "The (OTHER) Thought For The Day"

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Thursday, December 6th, 2012

All of our social problems arise out
     of doing the wrong thing righter.
     The more efficient you are at doing
     the wrong thing, the wronger you become.
     It is much better to do the right thing
     wronger than the wrong thing righter!
     If you do the right thing wrong
     and correct it, you get better!"

                 -Russell Ackoff  (1919-2009
                  From the Wall Street Journal
                  Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Tuesday, December 4th, 2012

"It's a summons."
"What's a summons?"
"It means summon's in trouble."
                -- Rocky and Bullwinkle

Monday, December 3, 2012

Monday, December 3rd, 2012

Golden Oldie

        We should be thankful for the good things we have
        and, also, for the bad things we don't have.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Friday, November 30th, 2012

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday,
the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the
people of these States to the service of that great
and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of
all the good that was, that is, or that will be;
that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him
our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and
protection of the people of this country previous to
their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold
mercies and the favorable interpositions of His
providence in the course and conclusion of the late
war; for the great degree of tranquility, union,
and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the
peaceable and rational manner in which we have been
enable to establish constitutions of government for
our safety and happiness, and particularly the
national one now lately instituted for the
civil and religious liberty with which we are
blessed, and the means we have of acquiring
and diffusing usefulknowledge; and, in general,
for all the great and various favors which
He has been pleased to confer upon us.


                  -George Washington, President
                   3 Oct 1789

                   First official presidential
                   proclamation issued in the US.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Be willing to make decisions.
         That's the most important quality in a good leader.
                   -General George S. Patton
                    General George S. Patton quotes

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

It is impossible to defeat
    an ignorant man in argument.
              -William G. McAdoo,
               lawyer and politician

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012

The perfect bureaucrat everywhere
    is the man who manages to make no
    decisions and escape all responsibility.
              -Brooks Atkinson,
               Once Around the Sun, 1951
               (1894 - 1984)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Monday, November 26th, 2012

Golden Oldie

         Life moves pretty fast.
         Ya don't stop and look
         around once in a while,
         ya gonna miss it!

               -Ferris Bueller (on his day off)
         (Penny Pennington's TodaysThought 2001/06/06)

Wednesday, November 21, 2012


With tomorrow being Thanksgiving, I won't be sending out Thoughts until next Mon. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 21st, 2012

Golden Oldie

                 On Patience

   Patience serves as a protection against wrongs
   as clothes do against cold.  For if you put on
   more clothes as the cold increases, it will
   have no power to hurt you.  So in like manner
   you must grow in patience when you meet with
   great wrongs, and they will then be powerless
   to vex your mind.

               -Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519)
                Artist, architect and engineer
                Cited in BITS & PIECES
                BITS & PIECES: Home Delivery 2001/08/16

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Tuesday, November 20th, 2012

  The problem with people who have no vices
   is that generally you can be pretty sure
   they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

                 -Elizabeth Taylor
                  From Penny Pennington

Monday, November 19, 2012

Monday, November 19th, 2012

Don't be humble ... you're not that great.
                -- Golda Meir

Friday, November 16, 2012

Friday, November 16th, 2012

Golden Oldie

   As I remember it, the biggest disappointment about growing up
   was finding out that adults didn't really have any secret
   knowledge about what to do in times of trouble.
                              -Beryl Pfizer

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Golden Oldie

           Worry is the darkroom
           where negatives are developed.

               -Heard on the radio 2001/06/04
                by Michael J. Ciha

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Tuesday, November 13th, 2012

If you don't go to other men's funerals they won't go to yours.
                -- Clarence Day

Monday, November 12, 2012

Monday, November 12th, 2012

     People who have what they want
     are very fond of telling people
     who haven't what they want
     that they don't want it.
                -Ogden Nash

Friday, November 9, 2012

Friday, November 9th, 2012

Coward, n.:
        One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Thursday, November 8th, 2012

Golden Oldie

     A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
     A tax is a fine for doing well.

                 -The Lion
                  February, 2001

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

Every day is a Saturday,
     unless it is Sunday.
     I still wear a watch because I
     do not want to be late going
     nowhere to do nothing.
     When asked what am I doing now that
     I am retired - I answer, little
     as I can and mostly what I please.
          -Ruminations from Herr Kemper
           on Retirement

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

My spelling is Wobbly.
    It's good spelling but
    it Wobbles, and the letters
    get in the wrong places.
          -A. A. Milne (1882-1958)
           From Daryl R. Gibson's
           Weekday Wisdom

Monday, November 5, 2012

Monday, November 5th, 2012

 If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
   perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer,
   Let him step to the music which he hears,
   however measured or far away.
                -Henry David Thoreau
                 Quoted in Bits and Pieces
                 October 2009

Friday, November 2, 2012

Friday, November 2nd, 2012

Given three requisites - means of existence,
    reasonable health, and an absorbing interest-
    those years beyond sixty can be the happiest
    and most satisfying of a lifetime.
                     - Earnest Elmo Calkins
                       Bits and Pieces Oct 2009

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Thursday, November 1st, 2012

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself
    but talent instantly recognizes genius.
               - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
                 _The Valley of Fear_
                 Bits and Pieces Oct 2009

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

Decision is a sharp knife that cut
    clean and straight. Indecision is
    a dull one that hacks and tears
    and leaves ragged edges behind.
               -Ian McKeithen
                Daryl R. Gibson's
                Weekday Wisdom


   I think I will vote "Present" or maybe not. -tftd

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Tuesday, October 30th, 2012

While it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don't
keep an eye on can make an awful mess of your stove.
                -- Edward Stevenson

Friday, October 26, 2012

Friday, October 26th, 2012

Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
        The closer you get to the end the
        faster it goes.
                        -Puns of the Day

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Thursday, October 25th, 2012

Some folks are wise,
    and some are otherwise.
          -Tobias Smollett
           Bits and Pieces
           September 2009

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Wednesday, October 24th, 2012

Just because it's hard
  doesn't mean it's impossible.
             -Dude Perfect
              Group that has many trick shots on YouTube.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Monday, October 22, 2012

Monday, October 22nd, 2012

Golden Oldie

      It doesn't matter how good an eggs looks.
      If it smells, there's something wrong.

                     Dieckhoff's Law

  (According to the character Captain Muller in Jack Higgins'
  _Night of the Fox_ speaking of 'old Dieckhoff, Chief of Detectives
   in Hamburg'.)

Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday, October 19th, 2012

Golden Oldie
     He seems to not appreciate
     the glory of the unspoken thought.

               -James Carville
                speaking of Dr. Dean
                Late 2003 / Early 2004

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Thursday, October 18th, 2012

      Ever notice that even the busiest people
      are never too busy to tell you
      just how busy they are

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Wednesday, October 17th, 2012

The amount of good we can do with a
    glad heart and a smile is incalculable,
    and the good of it goes out to others
    and stays with us at the same time.
                         -Dixie Carter
                         "Trying to Get to Heaven:
                          Opinions of a Tennessee Talker"
                          Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

Golden Oldie

        We can often do more for others
        by trying to correct our own faults
        than by trying to correct theirs.

           -Francis Fenelon
            From Penny Pennington 2001/10/01-
            tftd would certainly try
            to correct its faults...
            if it had any.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Monday, October 15th, 2012

Golden Oldie

      The society which scorns excellence
      in plumbing as a humble activity and
      tolerates shoddiness in philosophy
      because it is an exalted activity
      will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy ...
      neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.

                             -John W. Gardner

Friday, October 12, 2012

Friday, October 12th, 2012

Golden Oldie

       He that promises most will perform least.

                     -Gaelic Proverb
                      PAX Proverbs Plus - 05-23-01

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Thursday, October 11th, 2012

A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

"When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut."

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Tuesday, October 9th, 2012

Golden Oldie

     There are three kinds of memory--
        good, bad, and convenient.

                    -Author unknown
                     Bits and Pieces
                     On the Lighter Side
                     Daily Inbox 28 Jan 2005

Monday, October 8, 2012

Monday, October 8th, 2012

Golden Oldie

      I know that there are people in this world
      who do not love their fellow man,
      and I hate people like that!
                        -Tom Lehrer

Friday, October 5, 2012

Friday, October 5th, 2012

tftd believes this is
                                a Golden Oldie but
                                'who knows?'

There's a new virus going around. It is called C-Nile. Even

the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot
take care of it so be warned. It appears to affect mostly
those of us who were born before 1960.

Symptoms of C-Nile Virus:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice
2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail
3. Causes you to send it to the wrong person
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the

Received from Bette Tolnai.

The Good, Clean Funnies List

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

Feeling gratitude and not
     expressing it
     is like wrapping a present
     and not giving it.
           -William Arthur Ward
            Bits and Pieces
            March 2010

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

October 3rd, 2012

Ah, but the choice of dreams to live,
there's the rub.

For all dreams are not equal,

some exit to nightmare
most end with the dreamer

But at least one must be lived ... and died.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Friday, September 28, 2012

Friday, September 28th, 2012

Golden Oldie

                One reason why George Washington
                Is held in such veneration
                He never blamed his problems
                On the former Administration.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

Golden Oldie

        George Washington was first in war,
        first in peace -- and the first to have
        his birthday juggled to make a long weekend.
                         -Ashley Cooper

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Wednesday, September 26th, 2012

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
                -- Thomas Edison

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

Golden Oldie

     I never wanted to see anybody die
     but there are a few obituary notices
     I have read with pleasure.

                    -Clarence Darrow

Monday, September 24, 2012

Monday, September 24th, 2012

Thank God every morning when you get up
       that you have something to do which
       must be done, whether you like it or not.
                  -Charles Kingsley
                   (1819 - 1875)
                   Also the author of
                   Friday's tftd as
                   reported by "Charmain"

Friday, September 21, 2012

Friday, September 21st, 2012

Golden Oldie

  We act as though comfort and luxury
  were the chief requirements of life
  when all we need to make us really happy
  is something to be enthusiastic about.

               (Provided by Wes 'Bubba' Henderson)

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Thursday, September 20th, 2012

 The happiest people don't necessarily
   have the best of everything. They just
   make the best of everything.
              -Bits and Pieces
               On Leadership

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012

The best leaders ... almost without exception
   and at every level, are master users of stories
   and symbols.
                         -Tom Peters
                          Business Writer
                          Bits and Pieces on

Monday, September 17, 2012

Monday, September 17th, 2012

You only need two tools in life -
     WD-40 and Duct Tape.
     If it doesn't move, and it should,
     use the WD-40.
     If it shouldn't move and does,
     use the Duct Tape.
                -Submitted by
                 Daryl Gibson

Friday, September 14, 2012

Friday, September 14th, 2012

"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order"
                -- The Doctor, "Doctor Who"

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Thursday, September 13th, 2012

Have you ever noticed that the people who are always trying to tell
you, "There's a time for work and a time for play," never find the time for play

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Wednesday, September 12th, 2012

Drawing on my fine
      command of language,
      I said nothing.
            -Robert Benchley

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Tuesday, September 11th, 2012

We all get heavier as we get older, because
      there's a lot more information in our heads.
      That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
                        -Puns for the Day

Monday, September 10, 2012

Monday, September 10th, 2012

Golden Oldie

     May those that love us, love us;
        and those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts;
           and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may He turn their
              ankles so we'll know them by their limping.
                                          -Old Irish Toast

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Thursday, September 6th, 2012

You should never stoop
    to someone else's level.
    You should rise above it.
         -Ellin Berlin, wife of Irving Berlin
          From his biography
          Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

By opening this e-mail, you have
    activated the Amish computer virus.
    Since the Amish don't  have computers,
    this works on the honor system. Please
    delete all your files. Thank you.
                  -Adapted from a submission
                   to Reader's Digest by Tracie Walker.
                   Forwarded to by Marly

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Tuesday, September 4th, 2012

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
                -- Sean O'Casey

Friday, August 31, 2012

Friday, August 31st, 2012

The economic miracle that has been the United States
  was not produced by socialized enterprises, by
  government-union-industry cartels or by centralized
  economic planning. It was produced by private
  enterprises in a profit-and-loss system. And losses
  were at least as important in weeding out failures
  as profits in fostering successes. Let government
  succor failures, and we shall be headed for
  stagnation and decline.
                          -Milton Friedman

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Thursday, August 30th, 2012

How important does a person have to be before they are
    considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
                  -From the "Why" Collection
                   Good Clean Funnies List 2009/12/18

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Wednesday, August 29th, 2012

Golden Oldie

    An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile--
        hoping it will eat him last.
                     -Winston Churchill

           Reader's Digest Dec 54

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

 If you put the federal government in charge of the
   Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand.
                       -Milton Friedman

Monday, August 27, 2012

Monday, August, 27th, 2012

 Goldie Oldie

    Drink is the curse of the land.  It makes you fight
    with your neighbour.  It makes you shoot at your
    landlord--and it makes you miss him.
                          -Irish Proverb

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Thursday, August 23rd, 2012

 Golden Oldie

        Nothing seems to last as long
        as a pair of shoes that don't fit.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

Golden Oldie

          May those that love us, love us;
             and those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts;

                and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may He turn their
                   ankles so we'll know them by their limping.

                                          -Old Irish Toast

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

Golden Oldie

             It's hard to say exactly what
             a Congressional Committee does-
             but if your wife did it,
             you'd call it nagging.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Monday, August 20th, 2012

Golden Oldie

         Always remember there are certain people
         who set their watches by your clock.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Friday, August 17th, 2012

Golden Oldie

        Bees can't make honey and sting at the same time.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it
will always do it.
                -- Les Aspin, D., Wisconsin

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Wednesday, August 15th, 2012

There's no trick to being a humorist when
          you have the whole government working for you.
                             -Will Rogers
                              Submitted by Willis Marti

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Persistence is to the
          character of man
          what carbon is to steel

                  -Earl Nightingale
                   Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Persistence is to the
          character of man
          what carbon is to steel

                  -Earl Nightingale
                   Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Monday, August 13, 2012

Monday, August 13th, 2012

Those only are happy who have their minds fixed
   on some object other than their own happiness:
   on the happiness of others;
   on the improvement of mankind;
   even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means,
   but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else,
   they find happiness by the way."
                          -John Stuart Mill
                           Submitted by Daryl Gibson

Friday, August 10, 2012

Friday, August 10th, 2012

This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle:
    we are given one life, and the decision is ours
    whether to wait for circumstances to make up
    our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live.
                          -Omar Bradley

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Thursday, August 9th, 2012

Experience is that marvelous thing
      that enables you recognize a mistake
      when you make it again.
                   -F. P. Jones

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

I can take no for answer,
                but I can't take no answer.
                          -Gen. David Petraeus
                           One of his leadership speeches
                           Texas A&M May 14, 2010

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

The liar's punishment is not in the
    least that he is not believed, but
    that he cannot believe anyone else.
               -George Bernard Shaw

Monday, August 6, 2012

Monday, August 6th, 2012

 Some of my biggest successes
         are failure that don't happen.
                  Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman
                  Submitted by Herr Kemper

Friday, August 3, 2012

Friday, August 3rd, 2012

Map Quest really needs to start
           their directions on # 5. I'm
           pretty sure I know how to get
           out of my neighborhood.
                       -Truths for Mature Humans
                        Submitted by Jim Berry

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Thursday, Aug 2nd, 2012

How the heck are you supposed
       to fold a fitted sheet?
               -Truths for Mature Humans
                Submitted by Jim Berry

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Was learning cursive really necessary?
                  -Truths for Mature Humans
                   Submitted by Jim Berry

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Tuesday, July 31st, 2012

Enjoy life now -
        it has an expiration date!
              -From the Internet
               submitted by Herr Kemper

Tuesday, July 31st, 2012

"Children learn to smile from their parents." ~~ Shinichi Suzuki

Karie **Please share the inspiration by forwarding to friends and family.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Monday, July 30th, 2012

There is great need for a sarcasm font.
                        -Truths for Mature Humans
                         Submitted by Jim Berry

Friday, July 27, 2012

Friday, July 27th, 2012

 Golden Oldie

             Don't ask your barber
              if you need a haircut.
                    -H.D. "Cotton" Galvin

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

Golden Oldie
                                         First published tftd 11/04/88

                It's not my place
                    To run the train
                The whistle I can't blow
                    It's not my place
                To say how far
                    The train's allowed to go

                It's not my place
                    To shoot off steam
                Nor even clang the bell
                    But let the train once
                Jump the track....
                    Then see who catches hell.

                        -On the wall of the Stationmaster's Office,
                         Grand Central Terminal

                         (Also seen in Korea circa 1965 at
                         an especially appropriate moment.)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Wednesday, July 25th, 2012

Nothing sucks more than that moment
            during an argument when you realize
            you're wrong.
                          -Truths for Mature Humans
                           Submitted by Jim Berry

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Tuesday, July 24th, 2012

Golden Oldie

      I have always wished that my computer
      would be as easy to use as my telephone.
      My wish has come true. I no longer know
      how to use my telephone.

                      -Bjarne Stroustrup,
                       computer science professor,
                       designer of C++ programming
                       language (1950- )
                       As reported in A-Word-A-Day

Monday, July 23, 2012

Monday, July 23rd, 2012

 Golden Oldie

       The Grand Teton National Park and Yellowstone
       would be great places to visit if there were
       not so many tourists.

                    -H.D. "Cotton" Galvin
                     circa 1963

Friday, July 20, 2012

Friday, July 20th, 2012

Golden Oldie

       He who is carried on another's back
   does not appreciate how far off the town is.

                        -African Proverb
                         DailyInbox: PAX Proverbs Plus

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Thursday, July 19th, 2012

Baruch's Observation:
        If all you have is a hammer,
        everything looks like a nail.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Wednesday, July 18th, 2012

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
                -- Lily Tomlin

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Tuesday, July 17th, 2012

Golden Oldie

   A smart person doesn't tell everything he knows, ...
             but he knows everything he tells.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Monday, July 16th, 2012

Golden Oldie

                 Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Friday, July 13th, 2012


             Whatever is not nailed down is mine.
             What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
                            -Collis P. Huntingdon

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Thursday, July 12th, 2012


                  In those days he was wiser than he is now --
                  he used to frequently take my advice.
                                  -Winston Churchill

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

A positive attitude will not solve
                 all your problems, but it will annoy
                 enough people to make it worth the effort.

                               -Submitted by Phil Chenevert

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Tuesday, July 12th, 2012

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
                -- Harry S Truman

Monday, July 9, 2012

Monday, July 9th, 2012


          The generation of random numbers is
          too important to be left to chance.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Friday, July 6th, 2012

There was a young poet named Dan,
     Whose poetry never would scan.
           When told this was so,
           He said, "Yes, I know.
     It's because I try to put every possible syllable into  that last line that I can."

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Thursday, July 5th, 2012


             The only problem with being a man of leisure
             is that you can never stop and take a rest.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012

When we recall the past, we usually find that
             it is the simplest things - not the great occasions -
             that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
                                  -Bob Hope
                                   From Ron Gay's Financial
                                   Newsletter, February 2012

Monday, July 2, 2012

Monday, July 2nd, 2012

Golden Oldie

               The only function of economic forecasting
               is to make astrology look respectable.
                                  -Ezra Solomon

Friday, June 29, 2012

Friday, June 29th, 2012

Success is the ability to go from one failure
              to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
                             -Winston Churchill
                              Submitted by Cheryl Cato

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on
               -- W. C. Fields

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Wednesday, June 27th, 2012

Oliver's Law:
       Experience is something you don't get until just after you need

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Monday, June 25, 2012

Monday, June 25th, 2012

Golden Oldie

The clock that is five minutes fast is seldom corrected at quitting time.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Thursday, May 31st, 2012

Golden Oldie

     Sainthood emerges when you
     can listen to someone's tale
     of woe and not respond with
     a description of your own.
                 -Andrew V. Mason, M.D.
                  Quotable Quotes
                  Reader's Digest

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

Scientific laws:
   If it wiggles, it.s biology.
   If it stinks, it.s chemistry.
   If it doesn.t work, it.s physics.
                   -The Lion
                    November 1990

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Tuesday, May 29th, 2012

  It is great to have friends when one is young,
   but indeed it is still more so when you are
   getting old.  When we are young friends are,
   like everything else, a matter of course.
   In the old days we know what it means to have them.
                          -Edvard Grieg
                           Bits and Pieces
                           January 2012

Friday, May 25, 2012

Friday,, May 25th, 2012

Golden Oldie

   Kinkler's First Law:
       Responsibility always exceeds authority.

   Kinkler's Second Law:
       All the easy problems have been solved.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

Golden Oldie

  Finish every day and be done with it.
  You have done what you could;
  some blunders and absurdities crept in;
  forget them as soon as you can.
  Tomorrow is a new day;
  You shall begin it serenely and
  with too high a spirit to be encumbered
  with your old nonsense.
                   -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Monday, May 21, 2012

Monday, May 21st, 2012

If the enemy is in range, so are you.
             - Infantry Journal-
               Military Secrets DECLASSIFIED
               From the Internet

Friday, May 18, 2012

Friday, May 18th, 2012

 Practice yourself what you preach.
                            -Titus Maccius Plautus
                             Bits and Pieces
                             January 2012

Thursday, May 17, 2012


Friends!  Just a notice for you all that on Fri June 1st - Monday June 18th Educational quotes of the day will be on vacation. I will resume them probably Tues or Wed June 19th or 20th.

Thursday, May 24th, 2012

Pohl's law:
       Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

Hindsight is an exact science.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Tuesday, May 15th, 2012

Coffee tastes better if the latrines are
   dug downstream from an encampment.
           -US Army Field Regulations, 1861
            Military Secrets DECLASSIFIED
            From the Internet

Monday, May 14, 2012

Monday, May 14th, 2012

CALORIES (Noun)....tiny creatures that live in your closet
               and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
                    -Submitted by Kandy Rose

tftd opines that they are particularly active this time of year.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Friday, May 11th, 2012

Golden Oldie

          The Grand Teton National Park and Yellowstone
          would be great places to visit if there were
          not so many tourists.

                       -H.D. "Cotton" Galvin
                        circa 1963

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Thursday, May 10th, 2012

Maybe you can't buy happiness, but these days you can certainly charge

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap
pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012

 Golden Oldie

 While attending a marriage seminar on communication,
 Jim and his wife listened to the instructor declare:
 "It is essential that husbands and wives know the
 things that are important to each other."

 He addressed the men:
 "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's
 favorite flower?"

 Jim  leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
 whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

 The rest of the story is not pleasant.
 The end.
                     -Reported by Kandy Rose

Friday, May 4, 2012

Friday, May 4th, 2012

Golden Oldie
     A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
     and to turn around three times before lying down.

                      -Robert Benchley
                       DailyInbox: PAX
                       Proverbs Plus - 09-18-03

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

You don't hata be a genius
       to give uneducated opinions.
                       The Dinette Set
                       By Julie Larson
                       Submitted by Herr Kemper

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012

Golden Oldie

       We all learn by experience
       but some of us have to go to summer school.

                -Peter de Vries (1910-1993)
                 DailyInbox: Bits and Pieces -
                 EXPERIENCE - 09-05-03

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

Don't knock the weather;
        nine-tenths of the people
        couldn't start a conversation
        if it didn't change once in a while.
                      -Kin Hubbard

Monday, April 30, 2012

Monday, April 30th, 2012

It isn't what we don't know
         that gives us trouble,
         it's what we know ain't so.
                   -Will Rogers

Friday, April 27, 2012

Friday, April 27th, 2012


     Common sense and a sense of humor are
     the same thing, moving at different speeds.
     A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
                          -Clive James

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

Golden Oldie

          If genius is one percent inspiration
          and 99 percent perspiration, I sure
          have been sharing elevators with a
          with a lot of very bright people.
                    -Phil Corless Sig File

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

It is never wise to appear to be more
      clever than you are.  It is sometimes
      wise to appear slightly less so.
                      -William Whielaw
                       Bits and Pieces
                       December 2009

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Tuesday, April 24th, 2012

       A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing
about whose profession was the oldest.  In the course of their
arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon
the doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because
Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply
incredible surgical feat."
       The architect did not agree.  He said, "But if you look at the
Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of
that, the Garden and the world were created.  So God must have been an
       The computer scientist, who had listened to all of this said,
"Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"

Monday, April 23, 2012

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

  Golden Oldie

       We should be thankful for the good things we have
       and, also, for the bad things we don't have.

Twin Spin

       He is a man of sense
       who does not grieve for what he has not,
       but rejoices in what he has.

                        The (Other) TFTD
                        December 5, 2006

Friday, April 20, 2012

Friday, Apruil 20th 2012

Thought for the day: *
A billion here, a billion there --
first thing you know it
adds up to be real money.

-Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen < yesterday's thought

The Lone Ranger Creed

              "I believe that to have a friend,
                      a man must be one.
                That all men are created equal
             and that everyone has within himself
            the power to make this a better world.
               That God put the firewood there
                      but that every man
               must gather and light it himself.
                      In being prepared
              physically, mentally, and morally
                    to fight when necessary
                    for that which is right.
               That a man should make the most
                   of what equipment he has.
                      That 'This government,
                  of the people, by the people
                        and for the people'
                        shall live always.
                     That men should live by
                     the rule of what is best
                      for the greatest number.
                       That sooner or later...
                    we must settle with the world
               and make payment for what we have taken.
                 That all things change but truth,
               and that truth alone, lives on forever.
             In my Creator, my country, my fellow man."
                               The Lone Ranger

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Wednesday, April 18th, 2012

Golden Oldie

      (Sign) Outside a country shop:

         We buy junk and sell antiques.

                   -Part of Email SigFile

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

At any given moment, an arrow must be either where it is or where it is
not.  But obviously it cannot be where it is not.  And if it is where
it is, that is equivalent to saying that it is at rest.
               -- Zeno's paradox of the moving (still?) arrow

Monday, April 16, 2012

Monday, April 16th, 2012

To finish first,
            you must first finish.
                      -Rick Mears
                       Bits and Pieces
                       November 2011

Friday, April 13, 2012

Friday, April 13th, 2012


    The easiest way to figure the cost of living
    is to take your income and add ten percent.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Thursday, April 12th, 2012

Golden Oldie

   Every citizen should be a soldier.  This was the case
   with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.

                              -Thomas Jefferson



Our thanks today for those who died to make our land free, and

also to those who returned, married, raised a family, and made
our country a better place to live.  -tftd

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

Small deeds done are better
      than great deeds planned.
              ~Peter Marshall
               Quoted in Chicken Soup
               for the Soul 1/1/2011

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

The Schwine-Kitzenger Institute study of 47 men over the age of 100
showed that all had these things in common:
       (1) They all had moderate appetites.
       (2) They all came from middle class homes
       (3) All but two of them were dead.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Monday, April 9th, 2012

It's important to live in the is
             and not in the was.
                         -Colin Cowherd
                          Bits and Pieces
                          January, 2011

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Thursday, April 5th, 2012

  If you tiink nobody cares is you're alive,
                  try missing a couple of car payments.
                                  -Earl Wilson
                                   Bits and Pieces
                                   November 2011

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

One reason why George Washington
Is held in such veneration:
He never blamed his problems
On the former Administration.
               -- George O. Ludcke

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012

Don't give up at halftime. Concentrate
                  on winning the second half.
                        (Paul) Bear Bryant
                         Bits and Pieces
                          November 2011

Monday, April 2, 2012

Monday, April 2nd, 2012

Golden Oldie

  One of the annoying things about believing in free choice
  and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding
  somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find
  somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up
  on your driver's license.

                         -P.J. O'Rourke
                          From the Masters:
                          29 Jun 2007

Friday, March 30, 2012

Friday, March 30th, 2012

 Acquaintance, n.:
       A person whom we know well enough to borrow from,
                   but not well enough to lend to.
                      -Ambrose Bierce,
                       "The Devil's Dictionary"

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Thursday, March 29th, 2012


The only problem with being a man of leisure
is that you can never stop and take a rest.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

Golden Oldie

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it whether it exists or not,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedy.

-Ernest Benn
Bits and Pieces June 2007

Or as VF so eloquently phrased a response to
an audit suggestion. "This is an ineffective
solution to a non-existent problem."

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way,
and some of the roads weren't paved.

-Will Rogers
Submitted by Dr. Pete

Monday, March 26, 2012

Friday, March 23, 2012

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

The key to being a good manager is
keeping the people who hate me away
from those who are still undecided.

-Casey Stengel
From the Bill Wagner Collection

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

A wife says to her husband
you're always pushing me
around and talking behind my back.
He says what do you expect?
You're in a wheel chair.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Wednesday, March 21st, 2012

If stupidity got us into this mess,
why can't it get us out?

-Submitted by
Daryl Gibson

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Tuesday, March 20th, 2012

I wear glasses. Doesn't that mean that
*everything* I see is an optical illusion?

-Good Clean Funnies List

Monday, March 19, 2012

Monday, March 19th, 2012

Golden Oldie

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound.
The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man.

-George Bernard Shaw
~ The (Other) Thought For The Day ~
November 30, 2005

Friday, March 16, 2012

Friday March 16th, 2012

For the past 33 years I have looked in the mirror
every morning and asked myself: "If today were the
last day of my life, would I want to do what I
am about to do today?. And whenever the answer has
been "No" too many days in a row, I know I need
to change something.

-Steve Jobs
Stanford Graduation Address 2005
Reported by Jonathan Fields
Submitted by Penny Pennington

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Thursday, March 15th, 2012

Perhaps the world little notes
nor long remembers individual
acts of kindness--but people do.

-Herm Albright
Bits and Pieces
August 2008

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't. The label means the
price went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW"
means the price went way up.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

Blessed is the man who can enjoy the small things,
the common beauties, the little day-by-day events:
sunshine on the fields, birds on the bough,
breakfast, dinner, supper, a friend passing by.
So many people who go afield to search for happiness
have left it behind them back home sitting
on the front porch.

-David Grayson
Bits & Pieces
October 2011

Monday, March 12, 2012

Monday, March 12th, 2012

Hartley's First Law:
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float
on his back, you've got something.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

When I was growing up, there was a local watering hole
called Ptomaine Ptommy's. I asked my dad how it was
pronounced. He said "The P is silent, as in swimming."
Took me years before I got it.

-comments to a "Betty" cartoon
Submitted by Herr Kemper

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

It's not what you tell them,
it's what they hear that matters.

-Red Auerbach
From the Bill Wagner Collection

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

Golden Oldie

Please consider immediately upon return from the grocery store opening

any new jar of peanut butter purchased on the trip and consuming at
least one teaspoon of the delicacy. This practice ensures that the
rest of the jar is fair game the next time you have left-overs!!!!!
You will be rewarded for your forethought and planning!!

Friend Extraordinaire

Monday, March 5, 2012

Monday, March 5th, 2012

Golden Oldie

There's only one more shopping day until tomorrow.

-Sign seen on a flower/gift
shop in Bozeman, Montana
Reported by Kandy Rose who opines-
one way to Beat the Christmas Rush!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Friday, March 2nd, 2012

I sit here all day trying to persuade people
to do the things they ought to have sense
enough to do without my persuading them.

-Harry S Truman
Submitted by John Price