Friday, January 31, 2014

Friday, January 31st, 2014

A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the blackboard
                -- Prof. Steiner

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Tuesday, January 28th, 2014

Golden Oldie

                To err is human-
                But when the eraser wears out ahead
                of the pencil, you're overdoing it.

                             -J. Jenkins

Monday, January 27, 2014

Monday, January 27th, 2014

Golden Oldie

            It is especially hard to work for money you've
            already spent for something you didn't need.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Friday, January 24th ,2014

The duck hunter trained his retriever to walk on water.  Eager to show off this amazing accomplishment, he asked a friend to go along on his next hunting trip.  Saying nothing, he fired his first shot and, as the duck fell, the dog walked on the surface of the water, retrieved the duck and returned it to his master.
        "Notice anything?" the owner asked eagerly.
        "Yes," said his friend,
        "I see that fool dog of yours can't swim."

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Thursday, January 23rd, 2014

The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
                -- Alan Perlis

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014

If you think it's great to have lots of things,
          it's been too long since you've moved.

                         -Dawn Sundstrom
                          Missionary in Kandern,
                          Germany Area

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Tuesday, January 21st, 2014

Golden Oldie

         Complaints -
              If you don't have a leg to stand on,
              it's best not to kick!

Monday, January 20, 2014

Monday, January 20th, 2014

Golden Oldie

            If you were going to shoot a mime,
            would you use a silencer-

                           -Steven Wright

Friday, January 17, 2014

Friday, January 17th, 2014

Men show their characters in nothing more clearly
      than in what they think laughable.

                  - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Thursday, January 16th, 2014

The Three Laws of Thermodynamics:

The First Law:  You can't get anything without working for it.
The Second Law: The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
The Third Law:  You can only break even at absolute zero.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Wednesday, January 15th, 2014

Golden Oldie

              It is the triumph of reason to get
               on well with those who possess none.


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


     Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

                            -Fletcher Knebel

Monday, January 13, 2014

January 13th, 2014

Spark's Sixth Rule for Managers:
        If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as
if he had lost his senses.  When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Friday, January 10th, 2014

Worst Response To A Crisis, 1985:
        From a readers' Q and A column in TV GUIDE: "If we get involved in a nuclear war, would the electromagnetic pulses from exploding bombs damage my videotapes?"

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Thursday, Jan 9th, 2014

When someone says, "That's a good question,"
      you can be sure it's a lot better than the
      answer you're going to get.

               Quoted in the Chicago Tribune,
               from RD, April 1982
               Reader's Digest July 2013
               Even RD has Golden Oldies

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Wednesday, Jan 8th, 2014

Golden Oldie

   Art doesn't have to match the couch.

                -Penny Pennington

  Thank goodness.  tftd is getting tired of the complaints
  that the Velvet Elvis clashes with the sofa.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Tuesday, Jan 7th, 2014

When one door closes, another opens,
         but we often look so long and so
         regretfully upon the closed door that we
         do not see the one which has opened
         for us.

                      -Alexander Graham Bell
                       Quoted by Councilmember
                       Kemper's City Manager in
                       his weekly report

Monday, January 6, 2014

Monday, Jan 6th, 2014


      All I want is
      a warm bed and a kind word and
            unlimited power.

                -Ashleigh Brilliant