Friday, March 30, 2012

Friday, March 30th, 2012

 Acquaintance, n.:
       A person whom we know well enough to borrow from,
                   but not well enough to lend to.
                      -Ambrose Bierce,
                       "The Devil's Dictionary"

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Thursday, March 29th, 2012


The only problem with being a man of leisure
is that you can never stop and take a rest.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

Golden Oldie

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it whether it exists or not,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedy.

-Ernest Benn
Bits and Pieces June 2007

Or as VF so eloquently phrased a response to
an audit suggestion. "This is an ineffective
solution to a non-existent problem."

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way,
and some of the roads weren't paved.

-Will Rogers
Submitted by Dr. Pete

Monday, March 26, 2012

Friday, March 23, 2012

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

The key to being a good manager is
keeping the people who hate me away
from those who are still undecided.

-Casey Stengel
From the Bill Wagner Collection

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

A wife says to her husband
you're always pushing me
around and talking behind my back.
He says what do you expect?
You're in a wheel chair.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Wednesday, March 21st, 2012

If stupidity got us into this mess,
why can't it get us out?

-Submitted by
Daryl Gibson

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Tuesday, March 20th, 2012

I wear glasses. Doesn't that mean that
*everything* I see is an optical illusion?

-Good Clean Funnies List

Monday, March 19, 2012

Monday, March 19th, 2012

Golden Oldie

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound.
The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man.

-George Bernard Shaw
~ The (Other) Thought For The Day ~
November 30, 2005

Friday, March 16, 2012

Friday March 16th, 2012

For the past 33 years I have looked in the mirror
every morning and asked myself: "If today were the
last day of my life, would I want to do what I
am about to do today?. And whenever the answer has
been "No" too many days in a row, I know I need
to change something.

-Steve Jobs
Stanford Graduation Address 2005
Reported by Jonathan Fields
Submitted by Penny Pennington

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Thursday, March 15th, 2012

Perhaps the world little notes
nor long remembers individual
acts of kindness--but people do.

-Herm Albright
Bits and Pieces
August 2008

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't. The label means the
price went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW"
means the price went way up.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

Blessed is the man who can enjoy the small things,
the common beauties, the little day-by-day events:
sunshine on the fields, birds on the bough,
breakfast, dinner, supper, a friend passing by.
So many people who go afield to search for happiness
have left it behind them back home sitting
on the front porch.

-David Grayson
Bits & Pieces
October 2011

Monday, March 12, 2012

Monday, March 12th, 2012

Hartley's First Law:
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float
on his back, you've got something.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
--Oscar Wilde

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

When I was growing up, there was a local watering hole
called Ptomaine Ptommy's. I asked my dad how it was
pronounced. He said "The P is silent, as in swimming."
Took me years before I got it.

-comments to a "Betty" cartoon
Submitted by Herr Kemper

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

It's not what you tell them,
it's what they hear that matters.

-Red Auerbach
From the Bill Wagner Collection

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

Golden Oldie

Please consider immediately upon return from the grocery store opening

any new jar of peanut butter purchased on the trip and consuming at
least one teaspoon of the delicacy. This practice ensures that the
rest of the jar is fair game the next time you have left-overs!!!!!
You will be rewarded for your forethought and planning!!

Friend Extraordinaire

Monday, March 5, 2012

Monday, March 5th, 2012

Golden Oldie

There's only one more shopping day until tomorrow.

-Sign seen on a flower/gift
shop in Bozeman, Montana
Reported by Kandy Rose who opines-
one way to Beat the Christmas Rush!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Friday, March 2nd, 2012

I sit here all day trying to persuade people
to do the things they ought to have sense
enough to do without my persuading them.

-Harry S Truman
Submitted by John Price

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Thursday, March 1st, 2012

DeVries's Dilemma:
If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want
hits the paper.