Friday, August 30, 2013

Friday, August 30th, 2013

Golden Oldie

        There's no thrill in easy sailing
             when the skies are clear and blue,
        there's no joy in merely doing
             things which any one can do.
        But there is some satisfaction
             that is mighty sweet to take,
        when you reach a destination
             that you thought you'd never make.


Thursday, August 29, 2013

Thursday, August 29th, 2013

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
                -- Thomas Edison

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Wednesday, August 28th, 2013

Golden Oldie

     Reader, suppose you were an idiot- And suppose you
     were a member of congress- But I repeat myself.

                                  -Will Rogers

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013

  Golden Oldie

    Never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

Golden Oldie

         If you're not part of the solution,
           you're part of the precipitate.

                            -Kim 101

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

What you do in this world is a matter of no
        consequence.  The question is what can you
        make people believe you have done.

                        -Sherlock Holmes
                        _A Study in Scarlet_
                         Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

Magnet, n.: Something acted upon by magnetism

Magnetism, n.: Something acting upon a magnet.

The two definition immediately foregoing are condensed from the works
of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject
with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Monday, August 19, 2013

Monday, August 19th, 2013

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain
    the difference between complete and finished.

        However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London,
        England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the
        world, Samsunder Balgogin, a Guanese, was the clear winner.

        His final challenge was this: "Some say there is no difference
        between complete and finished. Please explain the difference
        between complete and finished in a way that is easy to

        His astute answer: "When you marry the right woman, you are
        complete. But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are finished.
        If the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are
        completely finished."

        His answer was received with a standing ovation.

                     -Submitted by Herr Kemper

Friday, August 16, 2013

Friday, August 16th, 2013

Golden Oldie

      It's a strange world of language in which
      skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.

                         -Franklin P. Jones

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Thursday, August 15th, 2013

Golden Oldie

     No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking.


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

It's my belief we developed language
        because of our deep inner need to complain.

                           -Lily Tomlin
                            (Script by Jane4 Wagner)

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Tuesday, August 13th, 2013

Golden Oldie

       One of the lessons of history is that
       nothing is often a good thing to do
       and always a clever thing to say.

                     -Will Durant

Monday, August 12, 2013

Monday, August 12th, 2013


     Every improvement in communication
     makes the bore more terrible.

                -Frank Moore Colby

Friday, August 9, 2013

Friday, August 9th, 2013

Golden Oldie

      I was gratified to be able to answer promptly,
      and I did.  I said I didn't know.

                            -Mark Twain

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Thursday, August 8th, 2013

The preacher came to call on Doc the other day. He said
   at Doc's  age he should be thinking of the hereafter.

   Doc  told him, "Oh, I do it all the time. No matter where
   I am -- in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down
   in the basement -- I ask myself, 'Now, what am I here after?"

        Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle via
           the Good, Clean Funnies List.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wednesday, August 7th, 2013

Golden Oldie

               Help support Search & Rescue Teams-
                            GET LOST

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

Golden Oldie

              What we obtain too cheap,
                  we esteem too lightly.

                        -Thomas Paine

Monday, August 5, 2013

Monday, August 5th, 2013

 Golden Oldie

   If we don't march in step, it isn't a parade-
            it's just a bunch of jaywalkers.

                           -Jim Grubs

Friday, August 2, 2013

Friday, August 2nd, 2013

Golden Oldie

               It seems everything in the world
                gets more valuable as it ages-
                    except the human body.

                         -Ken Roesler

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Thursday, August 1st, 2013

Golden Oldie

 We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life
  when all we need to make us really happy is something to be
  enthusiastic about.

                         (Provided by Wes 'Bubba' Henderson)