Golden Oldie
Beware of triskaidekaphobia today.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Wednesday, January 30th, 2013
Golden Oldie
A telephone pole never hit an automobile.....
except in self-defense.
A telephone pole never hit an automobile.....
except in self-defense.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Monday January 28th, 2013
The special today is a non dairy, gluten free, non
artificial, non fructose drink - called water.
Bottomliners by
Eric and Bill Teitelbaum
Submitted by Butch Kemper
artificial, non fructose drink - called water.
Bottomliners by
Eric and Bill Teitelbaum
Submitted by Butch Kemper
Friday, January 25, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Thursday, January 24th, 2013
Golden Oldie
Surly grammarians insist that all
words ending in "ly" are adverbs.
Surly grammarians insist that all
words ending in "ly" are adverbs.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013
Golden Oldie
Teamwork is essential....
it allows you to blame someone else.
Teamwork is essential....
it allows you to blame someone else.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
January 22nd, 2013
Golden Oldie
The user who pays the least complains the most.
I am expecting an AMEN from my long time office mate.
The user who pays the least complains the most.
I am expecting an AMEN from my long time office mate.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Friday, January 18th, 2013
Golden Oldie
The difference between the first day of spring
and the first spring day can be several weeks.
-Anon
The difference between the first day of spring
and the first spring day can be several weeks.
-Anon
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Thursday, January 17th, 2013
Golden Oldie
Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes,
et liberaler educatus et nimim propinquus ades!
[translation: If you can read this bumper sticker,
you are both very well educated and much too close!]
Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes,
et liberaler educatus et nimim propinquus ades!
[translation: If you can read this bumper sticker,
you are both very well educated and much too close!]
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Tuesday, January 15th, 2013
If you want it real bad, that's the way you get it, real bad.
-Col Lafield
-Col Lafield
Monday, January 14, 2013
Monday, January 14th, 2013
Golden Oldie
Keep you Eye on the Ball,
Your Shoulder to the Wheel,
Your Nose to the Grindstone,
Your Feet on the Ground,
Your Head on your Shoulders.
Now ... try to get something DONE in that position!
Keep you Eye on the Ball,
Your Shoulder to the Wheel,
Your Nose to the Grindstone,
Your Feet on the Ground,
Your Head on your Shoulders.
Now ... try to get something DONE in that position!
Friday, January 11, 2013
Friday, January 11th, 2013
Up
Lovers of the English language might enjoy this: How do
non-natives ever learn all the nuances of English?
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings
than any other two-letter word, and that word is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the
top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do
we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP
and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to
the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room,
polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers, and clean UP
the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the
old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an
appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because
it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning, but we close it UP at
night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the
word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it
takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about
thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the
many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time,
but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or
more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When
the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains,
it wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for a while,
things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time
is UP, so ... Time to shut UP!
-Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
via Good Clean Funnies List 7/9/2009
Lovers of the English language might enjoy this: How do
non-natives ever learn all the nuances of English?
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings
than any other two-letter word, and that word is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the
top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do
we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP
and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to
the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room,
polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers, and clean UP
the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the
old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an
appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because
it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning, but we close it UP at
night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the
word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it
takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about
thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the
many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time,
but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or
more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When
the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains,
it wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for a while,
things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time
is UP, so ... Time to shut UP!
-Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
via Good Clean Funnies List 7/9/2009
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Wednesday, January 9th, 2013
*
The one good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
The one good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Tuesday, January 8th, 2013
Golden Oldie
It is wise to remember that you are one of those
who can be fooled some of the time.
-Laurence J. Peter
DailyInbox: PAX Proverbs Plus
01-23-02
It is wise to remember that you are one of those
who can be fooled some of the time.
-Laurence J. Peter
DailyInbox: PAX Proverbs Plus
01-23-02
Monday, January 7, 2013
Monday, January 7th, 2013
*
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."
-- Steven Wright
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."
-- Steven Wright
Friday, January 4, 2013
Friday, January 4th, 2013
You can tell more about a person
by what he say about others
than you cn by what others say about him.
-Leo Aikman
Bits & Pieces
July 2009
by what he say about others
than you cn by what others say about him.
-Leo Aikman
Bits & Pieces
July 2009
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Thursday, January 3rd, 2013
*
"The porcupine with the sharpest quills gets stuck on a tree more
often."
"The porcupine with the sharpest quills gets stuck on a tree more
often."
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013
It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it
is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It
isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
-- Oxford University Press, Edpress News
is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It
isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
-- Oxford University Press, Edpress News
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