Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

*
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.

Tuesday, March 26th, 2013

Miss Piggy
 If I give an orange to my friend,
 I say to him, "I give you this orange."
 If a lawyer does it, he says it this way:
     "Know all men by these presents that I hereby give, grant, bargain,
      sell, release, convey, transfer, and quitclaim all my right, title,
      interest, benefit, and use whatever in, of, and concerning this
      chattel, otherwise known as an orange, or citrus orantium, together
      with all the appurtenances thereto of skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds,
      and juice, to have and to hold the said orange together with its
      skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds, and juice, for his own use and behoof,
      to himself and his heirs in fee simple forever, free from all liens,
      encumbrances, easements, limitations, restraints, or conditions
      whatsoever, any and all prior deeds, transfers or other documents
      whatsoever, now or anywhere made to the contrary notwithstanding,
      with full power to bite, cut, suck, or otherwise eat the said
      orange or to give away the same with or without its skin, pulp, pip,
      rind, seeds, or juice."

                                     CONTRIBUTED by
                                     -Butch Kemper

Monday, March 25th, 2013

  *
Isn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune
tellers take economists seriously?

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

  *

      They that can give up essential liberty
      to obtain a little temporarysafety
      deserve neither liberty nor safety.
                -Benjamin Franklin, 1759

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

*

Acquaintance, n.:
        A person whom we know well enough to borrow from,
        but not well enough to lend to.
                 -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

I like to see a man proud of the place in which
        he lives. I like to see a man live so that his
        place will be proud of him.

                             -Abraham Lincoln
                              Submitted by Herr Kemper

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Understand that panic is
   not an investement strategy.
              -American Funds "Investor"

Monday, March 18th, 2013

*
Law of Communications:
        The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications
between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of
misunderstanding.

Friday, March 15th, 2013

Where there is a great deal of free speech,
        there is always a certain amount of foolish
        speech.
                      -Winston Churchill
                       Submitted by Herr Kemper

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

*
XIIdigitation, n.:
        The practice of trying to determine the year a movie was made
by deciphering the Roman numerals at the end of the credits.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

  *
From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was
convulsed with laughter.  Some day I intend reading it.
                -- Groucho Marx, from "The Book of Insults"

Tuesday, March 12th, 2013

  "Spontaneity' does not 'just happen'.
        It has to be painfully pre-planned.

                         -Woody157
                          Submitted by
                          Herr Kemper

Monday, March 11th, 2013

*
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Friday, March 8th, 2013

    *
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly
greater than that of any other animals.  Some of their most esteemed
inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner
party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.
                -- H. L. Mencken

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

 Golden Oldie


        No family should attempt an auto trip
        if the kids outnumber the car windows.
                    -Teresa Bloomingdale

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Golden Oldie


     If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

                               -Derek Bok

Tuesday, March 5th, 2013

Golden Oldie


              No one with a good catch of fish
              goes home by way of the back alley.
                             -Anon

Monday, March 4th, 2013

Golden Oldie

            Never try to teach a pig to sing-
            It wastes your time and it annoys the pig.
                                -Submitted by Herr Kemper

Friday, March 1st, 2013

  Golden Oldie



       The problem with doing something right the first
       time is that no one knows how difficult it was.