Monday, September 30th, 2013

*
Q:  Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
A:  To prevent the sensible ones from going home.

Friday, September 27th, 2013

  *
   Deliberation, n.:
        The act of examining one's bread
        to determine which side it is buttered on.
                -Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Thursday, September 26th, 2013

*


    Parkinson's Fifth Law:
        If there is a way to delay in important decision,
        the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.

Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

Fortune's Office Door Sign of the Week:

        Incorrigible punster -- Do not incorrige.

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Do you know how many members of the TATE family belong to
our organization?

There is old man DICK TATE who wants to run everything,
while Uncle RO TATE tries to change everything.

Their sister, AGI TATE, stirs up plenty of trouble with help
from her husband, IRRI TATE.

Whenever new projects are suggested, HESI TATE and his wife,
VEGI TATE, want to wait until next year.

Brother FACILI TATE is quite helpful in group matters.

And a happy member is Ms. FELICI TATE.

Cousins COGI TATE and MEDI TATE always think things over and
lend a helpful steady hand.

And, of course, there is the bad seed in the family, AMPU
TATE, who has cut himself off completely from the rest of
the organization.

(From Donna Eaker)

Received from Stan Kegel.

GCFL for Feb 13, 2013

And there is the Potato Head family that didn't want their daughter
to marry a newscaster because he was a Commentator. -tftd

Monday, September 23rd, 2013

  *
Stupid, n.:
        Losing $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.

Friday, September 20th, 2013

*

        Which is worse: ignorance or apathy?
        Who knows?  Who cares?

Thursday, September 19th, 2013

MY TRAVEL PLANS FOR 2013 (Part 2)

   I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go,
   and I try not to visit there too often.
   I've been in Flexible,
   but only when it was very important to stand firm.
   Sometimes I'm in Capable,
   and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
   One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense!
   It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps
   up the old heart! At my age I need all the
   stimuli I can get!
                    -Jim Berry
                     From 'Research' on the Internet?

Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

MY TRAVEL PLANS FOR 2013 (Part 1)
  I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
  Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with
  someone.
  I've also never been in Cognito.
  I hear no one recognizes you there.
  I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport;
  you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there,
  thanks to my friends,family and work.
  I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump,
  and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

                         -Jim Berry
                          From 'Research' on the Internet?

Tuesday, September 17th, 2013

 All my life I wanted to be someone;
       I guess I should have been more specific.

                         -Jane Wagner

Friday, September 13th, 2013

*
Ignisecond, n.:
        The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car
door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Thursday, September 12th, 2013

Golden Oldie




        Many a person gets a reputation for being energetic,
        when, in truth, he is merely fidgety.
                              -Jan McKeithen

Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

 I try not to make any noise
           when I get up out of a chair.
                     -Sophia Loren
              When asked how she managed
              to appear so young.
              As quoted by Sissy Spacek in
             _My Extraordinary Ordinary Life_

Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

Golden Oldie

You can only be young once-
but you can be immature all your life.

Monday, September 9th, 2013

Golden Oldie



             The most difficult thing about
             learning to play the bagpipes
             is that it is hard to know
             when you hit a wrong note.

Friday, September 6th, 2013

Golden Oldie
*


             Duct tape is like the force.
             It has a light side,
                    and a dark side,
             and it holds the universe together ...

                        -Carl Zwanzig

Thursday, September 5th, 2013

Golden Oldie




          Happiness isn't something you experience,
           it is something you remember.

                                   -Oscar Levant

Wednesday, September 4th, 2013

*




      A great many people think they are thinking
      when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

                           -William James

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2013

Golden Oldie


                   Lord when we are wrong,
                        make us willing to change.
                   And when we are right,
                        make us easy to live with.
                                  -Peter Marshall