*
A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the blackboard
-- Prof. Steiner
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Wednesday, January 29th, 2014
*
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Tuesday, January 28th, 2014
Golden Oldie
To err is human-
But when the eraser wears out ahead
of the pencil, you're overdoing it.
-J. Jenkins
To err is human-
But when the eraser wears out ahead
of the pencil, you're overdoing it.
-J. Jenkins
Monday, January 27, 2014
Monday, January 27th, 2014
Golden Oldie
It is especially hard to work for money you've
already spent for something you didn't need.
It is especially hard to work for money you've
already spent for something you didn't need.
Friday, January 24, 2014
Friday, January 24th ,2014
*
The duck hunter trained his retriever to walk on water. Eager to show off this amazing accomplishment, he asked a friend to go along on his next hunting trip. Saying nothing, he fired his first shot and, as the duck fell, the dog walked on the surface of the water, retrieved the duck and returned it to his master.
"Notice anything?" the owner asked eagerly.
"Yes," said his friend,
"I see that fool dog of yours can't swim."
The duck hunter trained his retriever to walk on water. Eager to show off this amazing accomplishment, he asked a friend to go along on his next hunting trip. Saying nothing, he fired his first shot and, as the duck fell, the dog walked on the surface of the water, retrieved the duck and returned it to his master.
"Notice anything?" the owner asked eagerly.
"Yes," said his friend,
"I see that fool dog of yours can't swim."
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014
If you think it's great to have lots of things,
it's been too long since you've moved.
-Dawn Sundstrom
Missionary in Kandern,
Germany Area
it's been too long since you've moved.
-Dawn Sundstrom
Missionary in Kandern,
Germany Area
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Tuesday, January 21st, 2014
Golden Oldie
Complaints -
If you don't have a leg to stand on,
it's best not to kick!
Complaints -
If you don't have a leg to stand on,
it's best not to kick!
Monday, January 20, 2014
Monday, January 20th, 2014
Golden Oldie
If you were going to shoot a mime,
would you use a silencer-
-Steven Wright
If you were going to shoot a mime,
would you use a silencer-
-Steven Wright
Friday, January 17, 2014
Friday, January 17th, 2014
Men show their characters in nothing more clearly
than in what they think laughable.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
than in what they think laughable.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Thursday, January 16th, 2014
*
The Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
The First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
The Second Law: The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
The Third Law: You can only break even at absolute zero.
The Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
The First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
The Second Law: The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
The Third Law: You can only break even at absolute zero.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Wednesday, January 15th, 2014
Golden Oldie
It is the triumph of reason to get
on well with those who possess none.
-Voltaire
It is the triumph of reason to get
on well with those who possess none.
-Voltaire
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
January 13th, 2014
*
Spark's Sixth Rule for Managers:
If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as
if he had lost his senses. When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him.
Spark's Sixth Rule for Managers:
If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as
if he had lost his senses. When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him.
Friday, January 10, 2014
Friday, January 10th, 2014
*
Worst Response To A Crisis, 1985:
From a readers' Q and A column in TV GUIDE: "If we get involved in a nuclear war, would the electromagnetic pulses from exploding bombs damage my videotapes?"
Worst Response To A Crisis, 1985:
From a readers' Q and A column in TV GUIDE: "If we get involved in a nuclear war, would the electromagnetic pulses from exploding bombs damage my videotapes?"
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Thursday, Jan 9th, 2014
When someone says, "That's a good question,"
you can be sure it's a lot better than the
answer you're going to get.
Quoted in the Chicago Tribune,
from RD, April 1982
Reader's Digest July 2013
Even RD has Golden Oldies
you can be sure it's a lot better than the
answer you're going to get.
Quoted in the Chicago Tribune,
from RD, April 1982
Reader's Digest July 2013
Even RD has Golden Oldies
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Wednesday, Jan 8th, 2014
Golden Oldie
Art doesn't have to match the couch.
-Penny Pennington
***************
Thank goodness. tftd is getting tired of the complaints
that the Velvet Elvis clashes with the sofa.
Art doesn't have to match the couch.
-Penny Pennington
***************
Thank goodness. tftd is getting tired of the complaints
that the Velvet Elvis clashes with the sofa.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Tuesday, Jan 7th, 2014
When one door closes, another opens,
but we often look so long and so
regretfully upon the closed door that we
do not see the one which has opened
for us.
-Alexander Graham Bell
Quoted by Councilmember
Kemper's City Manager in
his weekly report
but we often look so long and so
regretfully upon the closed door that we
do not see the one which has opened
for us.
-Alexander Graham Bell
Quoted by Councilmember
Kemper's City Manager in
his weekly report
Monday, January 6, 2014
Monday, Jan 6th, 2014
*
All I want is
a warm bed and a kind word and
unlimited power.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
All I want is
a warm bed and a kind word and
unlimited power.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
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