Wednesday, April 30th, 2014

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues,
     but the parent of all the others.
               -Cicero, Roman orator and
                philosopher

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best,"
    and then he had to stop and think.
    Because although Eating Honey was
    a very good thing to do, there was a
    moment just before you began to eat it
    which was better than when you were,
    but he didn't know what it was called.

            -A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
             From Goodreads.com

Monday, April 28th, 2014

 President Reagan once asked the Air Force One pilot why
   he tried to land so close to the beginning of the runway.
   The pilot grinned and explained, "Mr. President, all
   pilots know you can't use the runway that's behind you."
                      Quoted in the Denison Forum Newsletter
                      Submitted by Herr Kemper

Friday, April 25th, 2014

 People say nothing is impossible,
     but I do nothing every day.
             -A.A. Milne,
              Winnie-the-Pooh
              From Goodreads.com

Thursday, April 24th, 2014

*



              I have made this letter longer than usual
              because I lack the time to make it shorter.

                                -Blaise Pascal

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2014

*


     All I want is a warm bed and
     a kind word and unlimited power

                -Ashleigh Brilliant

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2014

The high-minded man must care more for the truth
     than for what people think.

                -Aristotle, philosopher (384-322 BC)
                 Quoted in A.Word.A.Day Dec 17, 2013

Friday, April 18th, 2014

  *
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

Thursday, April 17th, 2014

*

    Schapiro's Explanation:
        The grass is always greener on the other side --
        but that's because they use more manure.

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

*
Justice, n.:
        A decision in your favor.

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

*
There was a young lady from Hyde
Who ate a green apple and died.
        While her lover lamented
        The apple fermented
And made cider inside her inside.

Monday, April 14th, 2014

 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
       Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

                       -Paraprosdokian
                        From the Internet
                        via Herr Kemper

Friday, April 11th, 2014

  *


             Democracy is a government
             where you can say what you think
             even if you don't think.

Thursday, April 10th, 2014

*
You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo.
                -- S. Rickly Christian

Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

*
Q:  How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001,
    Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of
    the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20%
    of the definitions are of the form "A ...... consists of sequences
    of non-blank characters separated by blanks".

Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every
                opportunity;
        an optimist sees the opportunity in every
                difficulty.
                        -Winston Churchill
                         Printed in Reader's Digest
                         Submitted by Herr Kemper

Monday, April 7th, 2014

Shared Sacrifice - "Usually used by a politician who
        wants other people to share in the sacrifice so he
        or she doesn't have to."
                        Lake Superior State University
                        2012 List of Banished Words
                            Printed in Reader's Digest
                            Submitted by Herr Kemper

Friday, April 4th, 2014

And a response from Lord Kimberly concening tftd and
    the thoughts in December.
    ... so it is now probably too late to do anything about
    what you have forgotten to do in 2013 -
    your only hope is that everyone will forget as well
    and you can start 2014 with a clean sheet ready
    for whatever new disasters might come your way.
                          -The Earl of Kimberley

Thursday, April 3rd, 2014

 To be sure of hitting the target,
         Shoot first,
         And, whatever you hit,
         Call it the target.


                   -Ashleigh Brilliant
                    Submitted by Herr Kemper

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014

(Suggestion for YOUR New Year's Resolutions)
                (Either because you are late or
                 have already broken the first ones.)

        I once listed all the good things I did over the past year,
        and then turned them into resolution form and backdated them.
        That was a good feeling.


                                      -Robert Fulghum

Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

What is the similarity between
          air traffic controllers and pilots?
          If a pilot messes up, the pilot dies;
          if an ATC messes up, ... The pilot dies.
                     -Air Force Sayings
                      Good Clean Funnies List