Wednesday, May 31st, 2017

  “Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until
         tomorrow what should have been done yesterday.”

                         -(Napoleon Hill)

Tuesday, May 30th, 2017

   Is it wrong that only one company
           makes the game Monopoly?

              A  "paraprosdokian" submitted by
                  Jim Berry.

Friday, May 26th, 2017

  *



    "I don't mind going nowhere
     as long as it's an interesting path."

                -Ronald Mabbitt

Thursday, May 25th, 2017

*


       "It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

                      -Walt Disney

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017

  “Age is only a state of mind – that is,
         provided you have one left.”
                         -(Gene Perret)

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017

        If I had a dollar for every girl
          that found me unattractive,
          they’d eventually find me attractive.


                A  "paraprosdokian" submitted by
                Jim Berry.

Monday, May 22nd, 2017

                “Freedom is the right to be wrong;
                 not the right to do wrong.”

                         -(John Diefenbaker)

Friday, May 19th, 2017

*


               "I went to the hardware store
                and bought some used paint.
                It was in the shape of a house.
                I also bought some batteries,
                but they weren't included."

                          -Steven Wright

Thursday, May 18th, 2017

“The procrastination support group meeting
         has been postponed.”

                        -(Sue Henderson)

Wednesday, May 17th, 2017

*

      I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States.
      The only thing is --
      I could be just as proud for half the money.
                       - Arthur Godfrey

Monday, May 15th, 2017

  “You cannot expect to win until you know why you lose.”

                                 -(Benjamin Lipson)

Friday, May 12th, 2017

 "Make every decision as if you owned the company.”

                             (Robert Townsend)

Thursday, May 11th, 2017

        “Idealism increases in direct proportion to
         one’s distance from the problem.”

                       -(John Galsworthy)

Wednesday, May 10th, 2017

  *

           Nobody can be exactly like me.
           Sometimes
           even I have trouble doing it.
                   -Tallulah Bankhead

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

*


       Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't.
       The label means the price went up.
       The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW"
       means the price went way up.

Friday, May 5th, 2017

*


Accident, n.:
        A condition in which presence of mind is good,
        but absence of body is better.

Thursday, May 4th, 2017

    “Sometimes people say unkind or thoughtless things,
         and when they do,
         it is best to be a little hard of hearing –
         to tune out and not snap back in anger or impatience.”

                          (Ruth Bader Ginsburg)

Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017

        “Leadership must be demonstrated, not announced.”

                             -(Fran Tarkenton)

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017

“Use life to provide something that outlasts it.”

                              -B.C. Forbes